Today
woke up with a rainy morning...
ewww
snoozed my alarm clock...
from 7am to 8.30...
slowly dragged myself out of my cosy bed...
ewww...
rushed around to get prepared...
n rushed to school...
reached school at 9.20...
n the organiser of the project meeting was late!!!
angry...
den grace passed me my PG Mall BAGS!!!
so happy...
taking out to take a look at them like a child opening presents...
was happy...
at least i got my bags before christmas...
happy!!!
den did project...
idiot ibrc auntie...
that old hag...
so irritating...
shan't talk abt her to dirty my blog...
den went e-plaza to do project...
did finish my part...
was rather tired...
n lost...
coz dun really understand well...
but managed to complete it...
n i was happy with it...
after project...
ate with frens at mac n off to dar's house...
played online games together...
n slept for an hour...
woke up rather grumpy...
haiz...
was thinking alot n my head...
maybe i should this maybe i should that...
but managed to clear those thoughts...
coz i would NEVER let the maybe word into my life...
and also that word IF...
coz everything will either be a fact or just a thinking...
waste time to think might as well face the truth...
n as usual for evry christmas eve and christmas...
i felt cold n lonely...
even if dar was with me...
somehow i'm sooo accustomed to the cold n lonely christmas...
tat would like to close myself in a corner n spend the quiet cold festive alone...
actually is not i would like...
is i'm used to it n have no choice...
after eating dinner at dar's place...
the yummy food cooked by his mum...
i managed to force out my smile so tat dar can go to his party happily...
n i went back to the cold and lonely home...
opening all the locks...
walking in to the dark house with strong chilling wind blowing...
locking up the door...
n walk in alone...
standing there looking into the darkness...
tat's my daily routine since 2008...
at the start was quite sad...
but now...
i'm used to it...
thus my christmas wish:
1. try to be happier in 2009 when facing the cold house rather than feelingless
2. get myself a digital camera soon - so tat i wun feel lonely anymore but keep taking pic
3. grow more accustomed to the loneliness

after my routine...
came online...
n received a msg from BAOBEI SERHUI...
EWWWW...
super heartwarming...
thanks baobei...
love you to the max...
n see u on friday...
n after a while...
jonathan chatted with me on msn to cheer me up...
thanks loads as well...
but as usual...
back to the gloominess...
haiz...
suddenly! i missed mummy...
it was the first time out of the 13years that she left me that i missed her so badly...
tat unknowingly...
my tears rolled down...

i'm missing my beloved xian xian...