after two weeks finally can blog liaoz...
got so many things to write la...

last week:
1st week of work...
was so busy...
and totally can't cope...
once i reached home...
really damn exhausted...
didn't even have time for family and friends...
but had dinner with augu...
haiya...
forgot to thanks him for the lasagne treat...
was damn nice...
hahas...
chatted alot as well...

the 1st week of work was like bonding the ten of us together...
and we were trying very hard to preservere on...
wuah can die de lo...

this week:
was work and work again...
ten of us began to get crazy...
this week stephanie was over high...
laughing non-stop...
and dunno why she laughing sia...
and she ar...
once she laugh make me and jonathan laugh as well...
was like laughing on the phone lo...
but this week dominique was sick...
and the day she took mc...
ms noh called me....
why it's me again??
and i kana rep for the ten of us at uob...
so i'm supposed to pass all news to ten of them??
faintz...
i'm a super blur queen lo...
later i forget how??
i even blur until work that time can forget something very impt...
den later remember then very embarrassing lo...
make until they all keep laughing at me...
sobs...
yesterday was marathon day...
why??
coz they all go lunch only me and steph picking up calls...
and we were like rushing calls la...
1min can pick up two calls...
talking like choo choo train...
pia like crazy...
so next time i end work at uob can speak damn super duper fast liaoz...
and yesterday damn funny...
somebody from nyp call in to our hotline...
to check funds...
and all of us saw the account...
wuah...

and damn idiot lo...
end of the day pick up terrible call...
need to follow up this terrible call...
can die lo...
den i still blur blur call her to call back today...
hahas...
i not working la...
so cannot help her...
never mind...
shall follow up on monday...
see i'm responsible...

wednesday had dinner with shuwen...
chatted alot...
family background quite similar...
but at the same time very different...
sympathize her...
and understand her feelings...
but i'm quite lucky...
my sibling still care about me...
and we really chatted...
never mind...
she can talk to me!!
wuah haha...
yep...
dinner at delifrance...
again...
hahas...
the delicious lasagne...
hahas....
and both of us same day kana mens...
so having cramps and eating and chatting...
she la...
pass me the mens hormones!!
sobs...

thursday...
was having terrible cramps...
den i totally forget that i meeting him at school..
until he msg me...
okiez lo...
so took bus back to school with jonathan...
he was like talking rubbish with me on the bus...
lots of rubbish...
and he wan me to punch him on the bus when i having cramps and sitting down...
diaoz...
wat the...
den got down the bus...
saw his fren...
was feeling so wierd...
how come looking at me in such a wierd manner..??
den walked in to school...
from 159bus stop...
wuah the walkway like really damn long...
maybe due to carsick...
was feeling like vomitting...
can faint...
plus cramp...
toally no energy..
luckily at night liao...
not much people...
but when i step into school...
school to me like total stranger...
den went up to the 5th floor...
and once lift door opened i forgot to turn right or left...
so just stand there never move lo...
den realized how cum the staircase there got so many heads peeping ar?
den i was like hmmm...
maybe i think too much...
den stand there never move lo...
den you came out...
bring me go see the thing...
that point really touched...
but really damn uncomfortable until got no reaction...
den you took out the 'flowers'...
that point i was like...
faintz...
i guessed it!!
den you ask that question ar...
but the prob is i got the answer...
just dunno how to say out...
can't bring up the courage to say lo...
so i choose to dun say...
see how you react lo...
hahas...
den was like throughout the whole journey you damn sad lo...
den i oso feel so sad...
know you trying to cover...
but depressed the feeling...
i still can feel it lo...
make until i oso can't seem to smile out...
and make me so embarassed holding that 'flowers' la...
can faintz...
den wanted you to go home faster...
and you still accompany me back home...
want you to go home coz very obvious you super tired...
wan you to go rest...
den at the point i msg you my answer...
i was only behind you la...

den i try to smuggle into house with that big thingy...
luckily nobody saw it...
put it on my study table...
so damn tired when i reached home...
den friday totally forgot about thursday...
until i saw the big thingy...
haiz...
den went to work...
tried to wake u up the whole journey la...
but you are...
sleep until like pig lo...
no worse than pig...
can't wake u up with so many calls...
reached work liao den managed to wake u up...
but at the moment i spoke...
jonathan go tell everybody...
den damn mahlu la...
everybody talking cheering away...
wat the...
caused my whole friday to be so embarrassed...

but last night really didn't mean to say that...
i really need time to get used to it...
not because of the guy in the past...
it's like...
dunno when you managed to kick him away...
dunno when i start to wan to try to understand you...
oso dunno when...
for so many things...
but i really still need time to get used to it la...
i'm sorry...
but at this moment...
i'm really tired out...
trying to get used to it...
and i'm sorry that i can't accompany you...
coz i'm really busy at the moment...

+i'm like in a forest full of mist+
+trying to find my way out+
+maybe you are prepared+
+but i'm still preparing myself+
+i dun even have confidence in myself+
+how can i expect you to have confidence in me+

wuah...
after a week of training i feel that i become another person...
this week is training at UOB lo...
get to know so many more people...
altoghter 10 of us...
we helped each other...
laughed at each other...
did everything at UOB together...
from strangers to friends...
now...
a helping hand...
it's like...
if anything that i feel uncertain of...
they'll be there reaching out a helping hand for me...
they're a damn nice lot of people...
though at UOB is tough...
and even training details cannot be said online...
everything is secrecy...
but really didn't regret coming in...
thoguh tests everyday...
theory...
practical...
but really bonded us together...
and i'm learning much more things than in school...
now i know we must really cherish the time at sch...
coz the real working world outside...
is much more scarier and tough to handle...
i'm now facing the scariest part of humans...
dun even think i can tahan over this stopover...

but it's like when i feel that i wan to give up...
aishah told me to jia you through sms...
really so thankful to her...
coz juz everyday trying to get out of bed is using up all my energy...
going to work is a real torture...
and training is worst than torture...
luckily we get a bunch of nice trainers...
think we're instead the ones torturing us ba...
hahas...

something happened on thursday...
that really make me breakdown lo...
it's like accusing me of doing something i didn't do...
that really hurts...
it's like very hurting lo...
i was feeling so down...
so sick...
and still need to memorise my stuff...
and finally cannot tahan and rest...
so i put my phone at the room lo...
and when i go and check...
that single message...
that single one...
is enough to totally crash me so hard...
just that single msg...
i feel so many different feeling inside...
angry...
sad...
dissappointed...
you tried so hard to gain my trust...
and that's how easily to ruined it...
you said you will trust me in everything i did...
but that's your so called trust...
it's like...
now then i fully understand...
that wat you actually think of me...???
and never did i imagined that at the point of time...
when i most need help...
most need encouragement...
and you were the one the ended up hurting me the most...
the one that really pushed me all the way down...
is like i not blaming you for all these lo...
just that from this incident tells us alot of things...
but i was too tired to even care of my feelings...
just work and work is enough for me to bear...

my schedule:
6.30am wake up to go to work...
6pm end of work...
7pm reach home...
7pm clear all my stuff and taking out notes...
8pm studying...
9pm watch show...
10pm studying...
12am dinner
1am sleep...

see how terrible my schedule is...
so do you think it's enough for me to bear??
i dun even have time for my family...
i feel so guilty to be angry at the point of time...
coz your mom's...
but after friday...
that night...
after work...
jie asked me wat's wrong...
the point of time when i told her...
can you understand how much i feel like crying??
so the trust you had in me is so much lesser than wat you think...
though i accepted you apologies...
but the tears that washed away the trust...
is all gone...
leaving behind dissappointment...

but my life isn't that sad during training...
was quite funny at times...
but i kana scolding...
actually not say scolding la...
just very harsh words from my trainer...
but met even more harsh people on the phone...

friday was the first day where we started picking up calls...
and we were all so nervous...
didn't even dare to pick up the calls...
and a senior was like calling us the test if the mic is working...
and then after me she test jonathan's mic...
and he was opposite me...
den his senior press the pick up call button for him...
and he tot it was the customer...
so immediately his face turned serious...
den he said :"Good afternoon. UOb. This is jonathan speaking. How may i help you"
den is like all of us laughed out loud la...
only testing only lo...
damn paiseh lo...
hahas...
laughed at him for like almost 15min...
hahas...
really damn funny lo...
everytime for work is like he making me laugh la...
den it's like...
during the test all of us play cheat la...
but the first test...
sat with jonathan for the paper...
den both of us were chatting happily away...
tat's why the second test all of us play cheat...
den yesterday then we know the head of call centre was behind us when we were taking the test lo...
faints...
hahas...
so it's like think he know we play cheat lo...
but dunno the results of our test...
but the practical(role play)...
was enough for me to die...
me facing the 10 of us and 2trainers...
so my voice volume become so soft...
den mind totally blank...
den totally dunno how to reply to all the questions...
ended up saying i'll put you on hold while i check for you...
so it's like put on hold so many times...
so nervous until like...
trainer called me repeat for 5times lo...
so it's like damn embarassing lo...
but luckily it's in the training room...
not really taking up customers calls...
if not i sure die one...
but never mind la...
coz personal selling the uob call centre will have to help us!!
heh heh...
that's our real motive lo...
hahas...
but really la...
learnt so many stuff...
and now have to face the real working world...
with backstabbers...
betrayers...
so this little small feeling of mine now...
is actually wat i may face in tis stopover...
i'll gradually get used to it...
at least it's better than being protected in the safe walls of sch...
i can face the real world faster...
and get used to it faster than others...

and thanks augu for making the effort to call me...
hahas...
you really encouraged me alot...
hope you do well for your tournaments ya...
and it's really nice chatting with you...
and lastly...
i miss my classmates!!!!

+hope that your mom's fine+
+and hope that i can recover+
+this trust is gone+
+dissappointment left+

the ten of us...
my beloved tep mates...
row 1 : Cheryl, Clara, HuiYi
row 2: trainer Cindy, trainer Joey, Stephanie and Esther
row 3: timothy, dominique, seok mun, me and jonathan

to bored sia...
in the trainig room...
finish me test first...

went cycling with yenling yesterday...
hahas....
pasir ris again...
went pasir ris like dunno how many times this week...
i muz be crazy to choose pasir ris man....
heex...
photos below...

me on the spider web...
see i can climb on it okiez...
though scared of heights...
and was screaming away...

me on the bike...
i can finally cycle well!!
heex...
happy!


that's me...
but too dark le can't see...

me and yenling...
both of us face so red la!!