currently tuning into:
林依晨-面包的滋味

coz i finished watching the 我的亿万面包 show
n this song really touches me
as usual...
dedicted to all couples out there as well as dar dar
DAR DAR better go understand the meaning ya.

回头想起一切都还像昨天
我还天天对你生气板着脸
时钟才转几圈有了转变
缘分太妙不可言

虽然你满身数不完的缺点
完美小姐也不是我的头衔
越看就越顺眼
我们之间舒服得像星期天

是命运紧紧把我们绑在一起
越吵越甜蜜越吵越爱你越不分离
生活的难题考验着爱情
才显得我们的努力多么值得被珍惜
从今就紧紧的和你绑在一起
不管坏天气不管坏心情都不分离
面包的滋味有多香多甜
有你分享才真的完美

虽然你满身数不完的缺点
完美小姐也不是我的头衔
越看就越顺眼
我们之间舒服得像星期天

是缘份是爱情
是命运紧紧把我们绑在一起
越吵越甜蜜越吵越爱你越不分离
生活的难题考验着爱情
才显得我们的努力多么值得被珍惜
从今就紧紧的和你绑在一起
不管坏天气不管坏心情都不分离
面包的滋味有多香多甜
有你分享才真的完美

就这样紧紧的和你绑在一起
不管坏天气不管坏心情都不分离
面包的滋味有多香多甜
有你分享有你分享才是真完美
very lovely n sweet song! hehe! XD

today i jut nuah-ed at home
watching wo de yi wan mian bao by ling yi chen n zheng yuan chang
not bad la
yesterday noticed a blue black emerging at my knee cap
n coz i first time kana so terrible blue black
i took photo of it

n now the blue black becomes 2!!
omg!!
n the blackish spots on the bruise got worse
n got more

ewww...
super pain i didn't dare to go touch it
just tat while walking around can feel the slight pain la
hopes the bruise disappear soon
n the worse thing is: i dun even know how i got it...
HAIZ!
the blur me!

Today met dar at yck mrt
it's been really long since i went there
n dar was as usual late
but wells
he cooked my favourite french toast for me
so being late was forgiven
while on mrt dar told me something tat made me unhappy
n the slow n blur him didn't know tat i was unhappy abt tat matter
n the understanding gf like me
haiz
having such a slow bf
have to tell him why i was unhappy
n even if he apologize for tat
i kept on 'being' angry
actually forgave him at the first aplogy le
just wanted him to 'hong' me a little more
yap... eventually after only a while i smiled
i just can't be really angry with him
haiz... the hard-hearted me is only soft-heearted to him :( that's a bad thing
but today managed to psycho him to accompany me to eat ayam penyat
hehe!
finally ate it been craving for it for the past one year. :(
glad tat i get to eat it
n first time dar ate chilli until he sweat
this shows tat their chilli is really good
after buying movie tickets
we just walked around aimlessly
n stopped by heeren for a seat
made dardar to take out my ah boy for a while
so that my ah girl can be with my ah boy for a while

hehe... the present tat he gave me on 251007.


yup the day we got together
HEHE.
den walked back to cineleisure to watch movie
while waiting for the time to go into the theatre..
took random pics of him...
him talking to me

him staring at the large screen on the wall
n i secretly took the pic
but he realised it
i'm lucky to have catched his face

hahas!!!
so nerdy!!!
next is me... dar still staring at the screen

today was damn tired
downstairs started all the drilling n stuff again
super noisy
can't really sleep
wakie at 11plus in the morning
yawns!
but seeing my beloved xian xian lao gong's pics already perked me up!
damn cute pics tat i received from my uncle last night

met kel kel today to go for job interview
met at hougang mall
den we went to have our brunch at the food court first
n met xiao sen ooutside the food court
so we had our lunch together with her
she treated us to drinks
n i ate my favourite jap ramen, kel ate chicken rice n xiao sen ate mixed veg rice
we were chatting away happily
n afterwards xiao sen had to leave first
coz she going to cut her hair
while we went to cotton on to enquire on job
n apparently they are having the walk in interview at novena
so we rushed down to novena
n after all
ok we're damn suay
the application clsed when we reached there
sadded!!
so we decided to go orchard instead
took 143 i guess to far east plaza
had our routine shopping there
bought a pair of 'shorts' n 3 tshirts
damn cute tshrits
actually couldn't buy de
coz i didn't expect to shop so didn't bring much money with me
but beloved kel lent me $10 so i get enough to shop!
HEHE... LOVE U ALOT!! MUACKIE!!
n we managed to get kel's belt exchanged for another design
luckily we decided to give it another try coz previous shop attendant didn't allow us to change
n this one was rather blur blur type
so managed to! YIPPEEE!!!
den we ate XXL chicken n milk tea
was damn shiok sia!
chatted alot
quite happy tat we can actually talk abt anything in the world LOL
n at far east while kel is buying the bangles tat i told her
i found this big spectacles tat the shop is selling n i tried it on
kel took a photo of me in it
so i look like this:

baobei gave me a url to do a quiz on myself

http://www.goldinuniverse.com/

the results i got are as follows:

You appreciate the better things of life and you don't particularly want to strive in order to achieve them. What a pity you were not born into the Gentry with servants, etc. Unfortunately - life is not like that. You have the ability to be whatever it is that you would like to be but you must make the effort.

The way things are you are under considerable stress and you feel that there is little hope of matters righting themselves. Everyone about you seems to aggravate the problem even more. You feel that at this time you need to be alone and you are right - move back and give yourself a chance to breathe.

You know what you want and you are very dogmatic and demanding - especially in your emotional demands. You have specific ideas and beliefs and if these beliefs are not realised you can become extremely frustrated. You may not be that perfect but you are looking for perfection with the perfect partner.

You are feeling helpless. The fact that you are unable to control events that are going on around you is subjecting you to considerable stress. This can, if not relieved, cause muscle spasms or hypertension. It would seem that you are, for whatever the reason, being subjected to intolerable pressures. The complete environment would appear to be hostile. It would also seem that you are being driven against your will. You feel - and perhaps quite rightly so - that unreasonable demands are made of you but more to the point you feel as if you are powerless to control the situation or protect yourself in any way. At this time you feel utterly helpless.

The tensions and stresses that you are experiencing at this time are, you feel, beyond your capabilities or your reserves of strength to cope with. You feel inadequate and in a constant state of anxiety.You are attempting to escape from this situation into a secure environment in which you may be permitted to relax and recover, free from outside interference.


I think the results are very true. people can go try it!

Tuesday
went to pay respects to my ah ma
it was her death anniversary
the hurt of losing her a few years came back to me
sadnest overwhelmed me
however i managed to control it n didn't show it
lunched with amily
n papa brought us to the temple at sengkang
prayed hard for health for my family
prayed hard for health n studies for dar n his future
reached home tired n dead
chatted on msn with kel
tired the whole day
but didn't confide to anybody my sadness abt ah ma
coz she's still the closest family member to me
the one that took the place of a mother
end of the day
heart feels cold
empty hurt shattered
a discussion ended up in a heated arguement tat i nv expected
didn't sleep the wholenight
tossing n turning in bed
debating whether to pick my phone everytime it rang to read the words inside
unknwing how long i debated
i picked up n only more n more hurt i felt
until 6am
the coldness in my heart suddenly made me devoid of all emotions
tat's wat people called heart dead?

Today
got out of bed at 1pm
after the tossing n turning the entire night
thinking back
i can't rmb wat i did
did i even ate my meals?
did i even talk to papa n jie?
yes i did
but less that 10sentences
i seriously dunno wat i'm thinking n wat's wrong with me now
a cold heart?

Sunday
woke up like 2pm
which means i slept more than 12hours
coz of the numerous nights that i couldn't sleep
woke up due to a msg
was still rather sleepy

woke up n walked around the house slowly realising that there wasn't anybody at home
HAIZ!
den cooked maggi for myself
ate n enjoyed a storybook
ohhhh
i finished the send me a lover by carol mason
now continuing to the devil who tamed her by johanna lindsey
the story is nice
was so mesmorised by the storyline
heex
but as i sort of recite the storyline to dar
he said the story is so typical
wells
different people have different tastes
met dar at 5 at bus stop
n we headed to serangoon gardens...
my favourite ice cube

we ordered new desserts to try
i ate the cookie monster mudpie

n dar ate his brownie with ice cream


looks tempting isn't it
n totempt people more

Thursday

Monday
went out with jie
met dayi at her shop
she treated us to sakae sushi buffet
ate till three of us super full
she left n we met jomaine
shopped for their friends gifts
managed to get a top for myself
home at 7pm

Tuesday
received results
results were not as well done as i expected
however results was alright
in the acceptable range
chatted with kel n aishah
decided to look forward n not look back to poly
stayed at home while jie went out with jonathan for movies
they watched coming soon
jonathan was afraid n jie wasn't
jie brought jonathan over to my house
saw who jonathan was
played daidee with him
saw my beloved xian xian
met dar for half an hour
home n xian xian was waiting for me
made her pose to take pic





my beloved laogong is cute as ever
lols
love her to the max!
dar dun get jealous
coz both of u can't be compared
played with beloved laogong
she left
da yi called to show care
first time i confided to her
about my problems in poly
ended call after her advices
n i went online to buy clothes
slept early at 1.30pm

Wednesday - Today
met baobei serhui at compasspoint
this time we forgot to take pics
coz we needed to buy alot of things
so we forgot
ate pizza hut
had good chat
understand each other's recent activities
bought stuff for family
went home while she went to her grandmother's house
meeting dar afterwards.

Just did a quiz on what does my birthday say about me
and i got this answer:

Saturday-Yesterday
as usual met up with dar
went marina square to watch movies
n its very packed
coz there was an IT far going on at suntec n SP design school having their graduation i guess in the middle of marina square
so got nothing much to eat
so we just settled our lunch or rather i settled my brunch at yoshinoya
the place dar hates
haiz
but nothing more to eat le :(
went to watch movie afterwards
we watched --> Watchmen

I've neglected my bloga few days
coz tot that blog was actually sort of spoiling frenships n stuff
but well thanks to baobei
i kan kai le

Tuesday
met up baobei at compasspoint
she lent me 2 story books
we ate swensen's n i shared with her my sorrows
and as usual
she was aways cheering me up

chatted so much
she managed to persuade me to cheer up
as frens that mke u sad are those unworthy of your tears
well
of coz i laughed after that
hehe!
so we tried taking emo pictures

emo enough?
of coz can't make it la
coz i was tolerating my laughter

next up
of coz our fav
taking pics in the toilet!

few days of resting
i feel so much better n healthier
these few days spent my time online watching the past singapore dramas
was rather nice
past dramas are much nicer than present dramas
while waiting for drama to load was reading through blogs
n a nice friend warned me abt somebody's blog
out of curiousity
i went to read
only to have disappointment
so after everything that i have endured
only changed for that word
never once did a friend said i was
n now
to those who know the story
so be it
now other than disappointment i can't feel others
i should have listen to the thousands of advices my frens n loved ones gave
i regret that i didn't n keep on holding on to the smallest hope that this friendship can be salvaged
i tried
n yes i did make effort to try to mend the broken pieces
i tried to suppress wateva things that the person has done to me
all the hurt
n showed friendliness
and i exchanged for such a pathetic word
hurt n disappointment i guess
sorry my frens n loved ones coz i didn't heed ur advices n only to get myself brutally hurt
i'm really sorry for not listening

other than that matter
i felt that i was so much loved by those around me
just a comment for a shoe
n dar offered to buy it for me
though it's a small little thought from u
i'm satisfied enough

now rather worried for my papa n my jie
jie's having exams n she felt she couldn't make it
jie even told me to reconsider going uol
but well
since i've made the decision i will try my best
as for papa i hope that everything will be over soon
there's the sun behind the clouds rite?
when the clouds are over
the bright lovely sun comes out.
hope that the sun will come out sooner!

Today
couldn't sleep for nights
my face looked so pale while i prepared to leave house
choiceless i had to make up to cover my paleness
n ya have to admit
i was feeling super unwell
but knowing that dar had planned for a happy trip
i tried my best to go over to his house

went over everything of me was fake already
a facade rather
facade tat i was the normal me n not unwell
went out
was feeling terrible
went to vivo with dar his mum n the girl
was trying to convince myself that i was just tired thus feeling unwell
walked around
smiles on my face trying to talk to act normal
i felt stupid but another hand felt happy
coz dar didn't realise
HEHE!
at least i can still cover up from him
but felt my energy drained as we walked around
was happy that they decided to sit by a restaurant
but the restaurant we went
some hongkong restaurant
the food had so much msg
even the drink-->iced milo was terrible
ewwww
but was happy that i managed to take a rest
coz i oso dun wan to let them know i was really weak already coz my headache worsened
kept on smiling
but headache was worsening every single second
haiz
hoping really hard that girl girl would not cry n make noise
haiz
but hopes are useless
somehow gotten used to her crying loudly n stuff
managed to block the noises out from my mind n concentrate with my food
somehow didn't even hear dar or his mum talking to me either
or maybe they didn't talk

before leaving vivo
dropped by candy empire i guess the name is right
coz my mind couldn't rmb much
i bought my lemon shortcake
something similar to the one i ate at australia
sadded that they dun have my lavender flavour
hopefully it tastes as good as the one from australia
n girl girl bought lots of sweets
on train
head was throbbing
as though there was someone hitting a drum inside my brain
leaned against the side of the train resting
but managed to have a few conversations with dar
n super glad n felt a sense of accomplishment that dar still didn't realise that i wasn't feeling well
while waiting for bus was rather unhappy for food wastage
but wat to do... it's not my food not my money
so no say...
n off to dar's house
left a few minutes later
headache was ceaasing already
but fever was coming
coz i felt the heat coming up
great
finally i'm sick
den i'll feel better next week...
HEHE!!!
great time for the sick virus!
if not coz of my headache i guess today would be a fun n happy day without any facade...
anyway dar sponsored me for a new pair of heels... was happy
but couldn't really show it... sorry dar for not telling u n not showing any happiness so sorry

+cheating people is tiring+
+but cheating yourself is much more unbearable+

Yesterday
finally met up with kel
met at hougang k box for their k lunch
before singing was telling her my prob
n ended up both of us faced the same problems
haiz
anyway
wasted an hour coz we were talking n not singing
den shared the 2 different bento sets
the yaki udon n fish n chips
was okie la.
think the yaki udon is better
had our usual singing
n thereater accompanied kel to cut her hair at twister
the price was rather cheap
plus good service
kel cut the rui en's hair
during cutting her hair
while we're waiting for the hairdresser

was rather sianz there
n i spotted this counter
with the brand name Sebastian
lols...
when did sebastian become so pro n had his own hairdressing products??
lols.

finally her hair is done after 1.5hour
lols...
looks good on her

afterwars we went orchard to pick up her phone
n now her cybershot cam phone s back
so we went walking around
n we ended up walking in rounds chatting away rather than shopping
HEHE!!
finished walking i left early to pick up dar from his work
while kel went to iseatan to get something before going home
had a great day out
n chatting away...
haiz...
we're glad that everything is over already...
n kel's going malaysia to shop soon
hope she finds anything suitable for me
hehe!

waited for dar for 2hours
coz he had his OT
at the bus stop
was approached by 3 ah bengs
haiz
sickening experience
told dar about it
he felt apologetic to leave me waiting there
so he hailed a cab to send me home
but haiz
at least i get to see him
but was feeling unwell
so didn't really talk much to him on the cab
but reached home was still rather happy that i get to see him...

yesterday
spent my afternoon with dar
watching movies
lazing around
chatting
heex!
sometimes love can be simple n sweet
reached home at around 8
was totally drenched due to the heavy rain
haiz
luckily i didn't fall sick today
time spent together is always so short
how i hope that time would stop when i'm with dar :(

Today
still on my process for my job seeking
any lobang out there?