humans can't make mistakes...
regrets can never be erased...
hurt is forever

Wednesday-today
went to school for project...
finally we're at the final part...
so happy...
this morning hd a difficult time trying to wake up...
afterall...
woke up due to inability to breathe due to my block nose...
haiz...
as usual...
the time when i wake up is the time when i felt most sick...
ewww...
hate tat feeling...
reached school n did project...
after splitting the parts...
me n devi paired up to finalise the whole report...
tough work...
maybe we made to wrong decision...
den while doing...
realised this guy or rather uncle keep staring over...
see below pic of how he look like...

this weekend
was super sick
after blogging on saturday
i fell sick in 1hour...
omg...
went to take a nap n slowly i was shivering after taking blankets on me...
omg...
cold cold cold...
den i couldn't take it...
coz there's no wind...
so confirm i'm sick!!!
ewww...
i confessed to papa tat i'm sick...
n as per normal...
scolding den call me eat medicine...
this time over serious...
papap made me drink my most hatred medicine...
sucks...
ok...
this is the 5th bottle in my whole life...
can u imagine how much i hate it till i can even remember how many times i've drank it?
omg...
disgusting taste...
n after drinking will feel very uncomfortable...
coz can feel the whole tummy churning n very hot...
but this time i dun feel hot...
only warm at my brain there...
n still trembling of cold at my body...
weird sia??
den i ate dinner n napped again...
n halfway sleeping i woke up...
screamed to jie i needed a plastic bag...
n immediately i vomited into the bag...
n consequetively 3 times in a split second after another...
ewww....
gross feeling...
but i no longer felt cold after tat...
so comfortable...
n i talked to papa abt seeing those 'weird stuff''.
long long chat...
n gradually i felt numb all over n weak n most importantly PAIN!!!
ewwww....
hate this feeling...
n bathed n slept...
can't even stand properly...

sunday
was supposed to finish up my ib analysis...
but i can't get out of bed like totally...
stuck on bed from 11am to 12.30pm...
coz i tried sitting up n i failed...
totally no energy...
kept telling myself that i can't be like this...
coz i've got project n tutorials to do...
ewww...
managed to force myself out...
n stumbled my way to toilet to wash up...
so terrible eh??
den drank water n managed to move a little better...
cooked my breakfast...
n drank more water...
dar came over to take care of me afterwards...
he massaged my back which got rid of the aching...
ewww...
good massuesse...
lols...
feel damn comfortable afterwards...
completed my analysis n sent it to zhiwei...
while resting...
watched max payne...
i dun understand a single shit of the movie...
haiz...
k i'm lousy perhaps??
lols...
n dar went down to buy dinner for me...
he got lost halfway n had to call me for help...
n afterall he found his way without my help...
woots!! *applause..!!
finally the chaampion of losing the way managed to find his way...
lols...
after walking like one big detour??
lols...
not bad...
dar you're improving!!!
ate dinner n felt perfectly ok...
n dar left when jie came home...
n i vomited thereafter...
my body knows when to puke ok...
at least didn't throw face in front of dar...
will be so paiseh to vomiti in front of him...
haiz...
slept without doing tutorials...
coz my brain isn't working...

monday
went to school sick...
met teammates for project...
n all my analysis cannot use...
need to redo...
haiz...
can't help it...
sick=bad work done...
sadded...
managed to tahahn till end of lecture...
pon my tutorial n went home...
supposedly to rest...
but when i come home got the study mood...
so ended up commpleting my analysis...
ok...
this time zhiwei said i did a good job...
so happy when i heard that...
at least depriving me of my rest is worth it...
heex!!
slept very late...
coz was busy with online shop matters...
haiz...

tuesday-today
ate my breakfast with jie...
.coz was sick...
so ended up eating fish meesua...
den off to school damn sweaty...
den reached school for tutorial...
ramesh!!!
omg...
dun really understand things that he said...
but tried my best to listen...
den off to koufu...
yay!!
ate my favourite stall fish meesua again!!!
yumyum...
k back to ipp days of eating fish soup daily...
lols
den lecture n tutorials...
chatted alot with frieends today...
heex...
home sweet home with yunting...
reached home...
i guai guai go eat medicine n slept...
n woke up with terrible sore throat...
den went to toilet...
n after making all the flam out...
sore throat wasn't tat bad thereafter...
heex...
happy...
but my ears are now blocked...
sobs...
came online to do my HRM cover letter...
YAY!!!!!!!
i finished it in 2hours after researching on the company that the article was taken...
i'm happy with my work...
completed HRM ICA1...
IB Report n ppt to go...
n written test...
busy 2 weeks ahead...
n guess wat...
i haven't train for napfa yet...
ewww...
i'm gonna hurt all over next weekend...
sobs...
went online today...
found another friend tat wans to go uol after graduation too...
great...
more friends!!
heex...
tutorials n notes to do...
ewwww...

Lastly
received the photos like ermmm our jap buffet photos..?

jie giving the blur stupid look while waiting for our food...
ok...
coz we're really hungry...

taken while jomaine wasn't noticing...
lols...
her building sandcastles look again...
haha...

the four of us...
ewww....
i looked sooo small...

yummy chawanmushi...
their chawanmushi is nice nice

This week
the whole weeks started with going early toschool for porject...
n i can't wake up...
to be exact...
i alarmed the wrong timing...
should wakie at 10am i alarm at 10pm...
stupid la...
den was late for project...
but luckily was only late for 30min n didn't discuss much...
only settled on the parts we're doing...
den schooling time...
sickening...
i really can't understand every single module...
tis sem is a gone case....
n i've been falling sick ever since the sem started...
haiz...

yesterday went for my facial...
erm like finally after ipp n stuff...
k my face is getting better now...
cleared all the disgusting stuff...
heex...
happy...
n this time was not that swollen n red like before...
dar waited for me outside...
n he waited for 2hours++...
opps...
i didn't expect it to be so long...
haiz...
poor dar...

today went out with dar as well...
we watched mirrors at his house...
k it's scary...
haiz...
but sad thing is the main actor oso got trapped...
haiz...
den went to marina square so that i can buy my toner...
n ate ice cream...
nice nice...
off home alone while dar went for his fren's birthday party...
on my way home..
as usual was followed...
managed to shake that guy off...
sickening i'm too suay...
den reached home n papa gave me a scare...
haiz...
sooo tired for today...
n i need to prepare lots of stuff...
k i'm gonna be real busy this week...

lastly... the photos...

wuah...
i'm so dead beat now...
this week has been so hectic for me...
n more hectic weeks are to come soon...
i mean really soon...
gotta start to tear myself apart between family, friends and dar...
n to add on to my load...
my work at DBS attachment company is still not done..
í've still got the charity project ot work with my collegues...
eww...
i'm sooo busy...
n this week...
there's too much to blog abt...
n so...
i'll cut the story really short...

Wednesday
i went out with jie, jo and kalai...
had a great time with them...
but went back to my ipp company to collect my testionial...
it's only just 2 weeks before i went there...
yet it just feels so...
how to say..
like i'm in a total new place...
feel like i'm not like...
somebody there anymore...
maybe it's because wat i wore there...
hmmm...
next time dropping by shan't wear my shorts again...
haiz...
had been rushing...
thus didn't have time to talk...
it was just a pick, thank you, byebye n take care...
ewww...
i feel like i've got no conscience...
haiz...
shall drop by soon n have a good chat with them real soon...
den off to the usual bus stop where i alwayss take bus home...
waited damn long there for my bus to go dhoby ghaut...
saw mel mel there...
yet she can't see me...
coz she was talking to some ang mohs...
so ended up msging her...
heex...
she really didn't spot me...
think she's too busy...
den met up with jie and all...
had great chat n great shopping day...
shopped around till all of us are so damn hungry...
bought pouch for my ds, crystals for my hp...
n most importantly, i new tube for myself...
love that tube so much...
lols...
though a bit low cut...
so i have to keep pulling it up..
haiz...
den off we went for our JAPANESE buffet...
at ri ben chun at cathay...
super uber nice!!!!!
the variety though not much...
but got all the food that i liked...
n most importantly...
unlimited plates of sashimi and the orange colour eggy like thingy...
still got my scallops and jellyfish...
shared sashimi with jo, jellyfish with kalai...
scallops that we all loved...
n the eggy thingy with jie...
yum yum...
but due to my sore throat can't eat much...
haiz...
so ended up only eating one piece of the fried sotong...
damn nice lo...
but...
haiz...
den off we went shopping around again...
didn't buy anything from this fashion...
ended up only going there to chat n sit around the changing rooms...
dar was around there as well...
he went to the museum for his NE thingy...
but we didn't meet up cz he was accompanying his friends to eat...
haiz...
went home shivering...
coz sudden heavy rain...
n that idiot car go drive really near the walkway...
so water splashed in...
i was wet from my waist down...
ewwww...
took a bus home...
n rested...

thursday and friday
went to school as per normal...
was tired tired n sleepy...
seriously...
this sem i think is gone case for me...
coz i dun even know a single thing that teacher is saying...
i really need to buck up...
but my weekends are always sooo busy...
even busier than weekdays...
SIGHS~~~~

Saturday
went over to dar's house to study...
managed to convert all my notes to my lecture notes...
ewwww...
wasted like 4 hours doing that...
sighs...
den started on tutorials...
at least i managed to finish up 3 tutorials while dar did his project...
not bad...
this time can concentrate studying even when he's around...
next time can just meet up to study le...
heex...
he sent me home carrying all my lecture notes for me...
i know it was heavy...
n we met jie for dinner...
made dar to carry my heavy bag..
coz jie force her water bottle into my bag...
which means two water bottles which was too heavy for me...
thanks dar!!!
n it's not free labour ok...
it means you're a loving bf that doesn't bear to see me break my shoulders...
heex...
n home sweet home later after dar sent us home...
n he went to meet his gay partner...
lols...

sunday
finished up 1.5tutorials...
i only left with one more tutorial n the whole week's tutorial will me done...
hiah hiah...
but i dun understnad a single shit of it...
shall really start serious studying soon...
den cooked breakfast n lunch for papa n myself...
did a little of housework...
read my i-weekly for two weeks...
n packed my cupboard...
lcearing those unwanted clothes...
sorting out clothes with jie...
went over er yi ma's house to pass her some new clothes n visited serene...
den home sweet home to take care of my beloved cutie xian xian...
den she went home n i ate dinner cum supper...
den online check some stuff...
ewww.
i sooo busy...
this coming week will be very busy with all the projects coming up as well...
ewww...
why can't a day have 48 hours???

its just the second week and i'm so drained out...
haiz...
monday is as usual the hectic day of the week...
coz after ramesh lessons we have to go home to do his tutorial for discussion on tuesday...
yawns...
make till i not enough sleep...
especially IFT need to do the tutorials on softcopy...
which means i have to type...
n i have groupings=no need groupings...
coz my group members dun even bother to help me...
wait for them online till quite late...
n i still dun get their answers...
this morning checked b4 going off...
n still...
none..!!
how pissed...
no choice have to rush out all my answers...
den present that time...
i go la...
none of them did tutorials anyway...
so even if my answers are wrong...
i got NOBODY to ask for help...
n all my group mates dun even bother...
n hello...
promised to send me your answers...
n wat do i get??
i have to do everything myself?!
#$&%^*^%&#@
damn angry la...
how selfish...
u all need do tutorial for ramesh lessons i dun need is it?
you all need your sleep...
i dun need sleep ah...
think i got so much time to wait for your answers?!
just because i got no choice!!

first time working with these people...
make my life so pathetic...
sickening!!!!!
angry angry...
humpf humpf...
dun even bother to put in effort into your studies no matter how good grades you get...
in the end oso useless...
coz no effort put in...
angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today was feeling damn sick...
my sore throat is getting worse...
OMG!!!
damn pain sia...
den it's like presenting that time i can't even talk already...
haiz haiz...
trying my best to talk louder...
but no matter how loud i talk...
still wrong answers ma...
haiz...
no point la...
sadded...
next PFPLI oso need present...
with the same group...
better to depend on myself than the group...
next week throw everything to them le...
den it's none of my business...
coz i presented already...

today at school...
was feeling terrible despite my sickness...
maybe emotionally...
was hidding all my emotions from my friends...
almost flare up during lesson...
that last pathetic lesson of the day...
but managed to curb it n smiled...
ewww...
i hate hidding up my feelings...
it made me feel more terrible...
haiz...
luckily reached home fast...
coz i gonna flare up le...
den had dinner with jie downstairs...
tired tired...
n i still have to do the pfpli tutorials...
haiz...
dun need to sleep again...

tml...
going back to DBS in the morning to collect my testimonial...
heex...
finally its done...
hopefully its good one ba...
still need photocopy to give teacher...
SIANZ!!!!!!!
den afterwards meeting jie and jomaine for shopping spree and eating spree...
finally can enjoy myself abit after ipp...
haiz...
or rather...
after last sem's exams...
ewww...
sounds like i've been too stressed up...
haiz...

heex...
today my new comp is finally here...
damn happy...
its damn chio...
hehe...
new printer comes free with it...
k la...
not bad printer oso...
though its canon...
but its free wat to do...
haiz...
but now the comp screen is too big le..
22"inch is like... whoo~~
now see things a bit must look around...
lols...
today didn't do any tutorials coz i was doing my mag cutting...
did tat for like almost 3hours...
too much to cut le...
den my new comp arrived...
had to do set up until now...
whoo...
finally everything is done for my comp...
heex...

yesterday
spent my day at dar's house...
of coz...
didn't managed to do tutorials as well...
haaiz...
must buck up le...
cannot so slack slack le...
yesterday...
ended up taking naps on dar's chest...
lols...
hear his heartbeat till i slept...
slept for quite long oso...
hehe...
den left his house at around 8...
late le...
came home didn't managed to see my beloved xian xian...
sadded!!
slept at 3am after painting my nails...
whoo...
finally painted after 5weeks...
n this time...
nice colour...
heex~!!

this sem is the last sem...
yet i can't bring myself to get to studies...
think i'm too used to that working life...
must faster change back!!
if not this sem sure die die...
got so many examinable modules...
n till now i feel all the modules is a die die...
haiz!

heex...
today damn tired going to school...
partially coz of my...
nvm...
den i fell asleep during IB lecture and IA&PM tutorial...
slept till quite obvious...
omg!!!
cannot...
i must stay awake next week...
today ended class...
was very weak...
n tired...
went home with dar...
we're walking damn slow...
coz i was feeling weak...
reached home n brought my beloved xian xian for walk...
today she's more active than yesterday...
coz yesterday she only keep pestering us to hug her...
so that she can sleep...
after me...
jie ended up hugging her to sleep...
n ended up the scene was very funny...
so decided to take a pic...

jie ended up sleeping with her...
n i can hear my beloved xian snoring away...
lols...
soo cute...

back to today...
xian was walking around at home...
den she saw the weighing machine n she ended up standing on it...
den she dunno how to get down...
so she just hanged there....
waiting for us to carry her down...


my poor little xian...

out of all the waiting...
yet school started like tat...
so tiring...
i know there unhappiness...
i tried my best...
i realise me alone is useless...
no matter wat like everything can't be changed anymore...
i'm sick n tired of these...
repeatedly every single sem got the same prob...
i totally can understand everybody's feelings...
coz i underwent these b4...
but even if how hard i try...
i can't do anything...

these few days going home with tiredness...
and unhappiness...
today went home to pick my dearest xian up...



she's my joy n happiness...
source of smile...
she's too cute...
piggyback her n she is not even heavy...
damn light n comfortable...

n she ended up sleeping in my arms...

today
woke up in cold sweat...
k shan't talk abt my dream...
lols...
den wakie n prepared for tml's school...
i find that i still dun sense the feeling that i've ended attachment...
haiz...
suddenly wanted to go back to DBS so much...
i miss my colleagues already...
sobs...
den cleared all my working clothes...
putting them one by one into the cupboard away from my mum's bed...
n started to take out my normal casual schooling clothes...
next cleared my desk...
getting rid of all the information that i brought home for ot...
haiz...
discarding away the information...
feels real sad...
i can't see the routine reports that i did anymore...
i can't see the small little things that i've did in the past for DBS anymore...
i kinda feels sad...
haiz...
while drafting out my timetable in the organizer...
i felt depressed...
but in another way happy...
coz i get to sleep in later than normal...
i get to see my frens...
being away from school and friends for so long...
it's time to catch up n know how they're doing...
haiz...
though ipp has left memories in our lives...
but i think it may not be bad ones isn't it?
finally all prepared for school...
money to buy lecture notes...
my bag packed...
clothes there for me to choose...
water bottle...
i still dun feel like i'm going back...
haiz...
guessed i'm too used to working life...
i'll feel better after school starts...
hopefully...

n guess wat??
after calculating my expenses for this month...
realised i've spent such a big bomb!!!
omg...
almost 2k??
ewwww....
i felt the pinch now...
k i better cut down on my expenses n start saving for my future!!

last night
slept at 6.30am...
lols...
coz was doing my online shopping for nu ren wo zui da products...
yay.!
i bought all the products that i wanted...
lols...
while trying to sleep...
was having nightmares...
n the funny thing is...
in my dream i know i'm dreaming...
n i force myself to wake up n stop dreaming...
for a few times...
lols...
felt it was damn funny...
n i was struggling in bed to wakie myself...
anyway...
had a goodnight's sleep thereafter...
lols...
coz it was raining heavily...
heex...

today
wakie at 11am to meet dar...
n when i was leaving house...
papa's friend called...
so had to pick up the call n entertain him...
thanks ah...
make until i was late...
n as usual...
dar was nagging at me...
but he only nag awhile...
lols...
i know he dun mind de la...
heex...
den off to bugis to shop...
actually wanted to go vivo de...
but i last minute changed my mind...
lols...
so went bugis...
n he accompanied me to shop...
i know he was very sian...
so i scanned through the whole place very fast...
managed to buy my cardigan...
both colours...
lols...
den went to walk at bugis junction...
went to buy bras...
dar was giving that super embarrassed face again...
so i didn't pull him in this time...
just take n go that type...
and after that...
i no money le...
sobs...
but today at bugis met kim at bugis street...
den met shihui and her family at the mrt...
lols..
such a coincidence...
hahas...
den off to amk to watch movie...
we watch the coffin this time...
k la...
not as terrible movie as wat seb say on his blog...
but not worth it to watch la...
haiz...
sorry dar make you spend money on worthless stuff again..
haiz...
den home sweet home thereafter...
super tired!!!
n on my way home damn scary la...
at my house downstairs got this person kept following me...
n walk the stairs...
den dun dare walk home...
walk up n down the block for quite some time...
den heck care le....
run home...
can hear his footsteps behind me...
den run to open the door...
n shit la...
nobody at home...
need to open all the locks...
open le den i run inside n lock all the doors...
damn scary...
n when i was at home...
can hear that the person still outside la...
after some time den he walk away...
scary scary...
dar was worried n wanted to rush over...
haiz...
but stopped him...
coz it's late le...
he's too understanding...
haiz...
anyway today whole day out with dar...
i'm happy enough...
as long as his with me...
i'll be happy for the whole day...
but i'm starting to miss him...
haiz!!!

today i my last day off ipp
i felt really sad...
though today was busy finishing up everything n doing additional work for them...
i felt sad...
can't bear to leave so fast...
humans are contradicting ya??
one side happy that can finally sleep in longer...
another side felt sad n can't bear to leave...
last time i'm gonna type out my logbook...
last time she's going to write comments for me...
haiz...
today my supervisor asked if i was willing to come back for future job...
i said i'm fine with it...
n she asked my future plans...
she wrote in recommendation to HR for me...
thanks!! :) that's so sweet of her...
n though testimonial is i requested...
she didn't complain despite her busy schedule...
but only told me to wait...
n i'll only get it when i go back for the charity project...
lols...
i'm hapy enough...
heex...
i'll miss them so much...
today had my fair share of joy n laughter...
people around me also know i'm leaving after today...
haiz...
sadded!!!
while packing up my stuff...
slowly my desk from a messy table...
became an empty table...
sigh...


can you imagine...
it looks like nobody has occupied it before...
haiz...
felt really sad...
and as i was giving out my little something to peiyun kathryn, carla and kerrie...
i almost teared...
haiz...
but heex...
one good thing is that i left many footprints around...
the maker of all the manuals...
the starter of a manuals file...

the person that completed all their manuals so that in future they do not need to teach the new interns personally...
at least i left footprints...
hope they do not forget me... :...(
n i didn't expect kathryn to remember my small comment that i wan go buy rost tea...
n she bought it for me...
so sweet...
even bought the tea bags for me to put them in...
haiz...
received the small gift...
felt really touched...
it was just a casual comment...
lols...
will slowly drink it...
heex...
I'LL MISS THEM!!!

thanks dar for coming to fetch me these few days for carrying my stuff home for me...
heex...
so sweet as well...
luckily he came over...
den i managed to stop my tears...
n put on my usual smile...

thanks dar for being so understanding...
i know during my ipp you've been suffering with me...