yesterday
went to wakie dar up n ate breakfast together...
it's so tough to wakie him man...
my piggy dar dar...
haiz...
ended up playing NDS while waiting for him to wakie...
den after breakfast...
off to ps...
was feeling so giddy la...
felt like vomiting...
think coz of the weather to warm n stuffy...
plus asthma like gonna react le...
didn't let dar know abt it...
coz didn't wan him to worry...
plus he like mood no good...
den reached there...
felt ok once i got off the train..
coz got air con not so stuffy le...
heex...
ate KFC...
wuah after 5 weeks this is my first time eating fast food man...
missed fast food alot...
n tried the new Spicy BBQ drumlets there...
hmmm...
dar says it's quite salty...
but i think it's more spicy than salty...
but anyway...
liked it...
coz i oso damn long never eat spicy food le...
heex...
nice...
n i think i'm addicted to it...
so guess later bug jie to buy it for me on her way home ba...
heex...
den we went to the cathy to see got any show to watch...
ewwww...
the only show i can watch there is this christina vicky barcelona...
both of us never hear it before...
so decided not to watch...
den off to this fashion to look for my dress that i wan to buy...
sadded!!!!!
no more le....
sobs...
really liked it alot...
is really like lo...
so i shall go search at other this fashion outlets...
lols...
anyway discounts are still on...
on top of that my membership can discount further...
heex...
but think maybe buy one of the dress from m)phosis straight ba...
though it's triple the price...
but at least dun need to go search for it...
haiz...
den disappointedly left the outlet...
den back to ps for movies...
watched my bestfriends girl...
k it was soo much vulgarities...
n nudity...
but the storyline is somehow nice...
lols...
den after movie home sweet home...
dar was quite or rather very moody le...
didn't chat much...
den parted at hougang...
while i go home...
he meet his fren...
reached home was so tired again...
slept on the sofa...
somehow it became my routine to sleep on sofa between 7.30-10pm daily...
lols...
den had dinner n slept at 2plus...

today
woke up at 10am...
coz papa took away my bolster...
n jie was out...
wakie with no bolster...
n i can't get myself to sleep anymore...
papa took my bolster out in the sun...
he says the sun very strong today...
so should put my bolster out to get rid of the smell...
humpf...
wakie me from my sleep...
still say my bolster smelly...
sadded...
den read mag...
and cooked breakfast...
now i'm online to watch my show!!!
yes!!!
damn long never watch le...
heex...

+i didn't know till now that's still the thing bugging u+
+dun so moody ya, cheer up+

this whole week is so hectic...
i dun really have time to rest...
haiz...
everyday work seems piling up...
non-stop problems...
haiz...
everyday OT OT OT...
fainted...
n my people surrounding me is terrible...
new batch of interns from tp...
other than sleeping, eating, chatting...
they dun seem to work at all...
n every single sentence is definitely contains vulgarities...
which really makes me feel so headache...
i hate vulgarities OK!!
haiz...
everyday putting up with FU, KNN, KNS, CB, LJ, TMD...
imagine my life there...
plus they're bullying me...
i've got evidence...
they're like...
erm how to say...
thinking childish...
haiz...
see this is wat they did...
they pulled out drawer n make me trip over causing this scratc which bleed non stop...
n i had to take so much time to stop the blood from oozing out...
haiz...
childish!!

heex...
yesterday had a great time out...
but the consequence was...
my sickness got worse...
sobs...
today felt much much worse than yesterday...
haiz...
yap...
but i didn't tell dar...
who ask him that time wan keep from me??
humpf...

anyway yesterday had a great time out with dar...
met dar at his house...
den off we went to the cathay to watch movie...
watched babylon...
ewww...
not nice de...
totally dun understand wat the show talking abt...
haiz...
n funny thing was...
dar oso dun understand...
lols...
den we went to eat our lunch at 5 plus...
den off to popo's house while dar headed home...
haiz...
so sad to leave dar alone...
but i need to rush over to popo's house...
no choice...
sadded...
den on my way over...
i lost my way...
haiz...
n jie's phone can't call through...
luckily i managed to find my way over...
heex...
blur queen...
den reached there...
ate and chatted alot...
alot of christianity stuff as usual...
but pls...
i really dun believe...
i rather trust myself and science...
den da yi drove us home...
and as usual...
i was playing with the teddy bear on the car...
lols...
reached home at almost 9...
and bathed...
watch show...
and doed off on the sofa...
n until now still dunno how i managed to make it to the bed...
hmmmm....

today
was super uber boring!!!
nobody at home with me...
read mag and watched tv...
boring like siao...
and as per normal...
missing dar...
haiz...
like when he's not by my side i'll be very anxious about everything...
haiz...
can't watch my ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni...
coz jie wasn't around...
need to wait till she comes home...
sianz sianz sianz...
haiz...

+everything seems so nice n lovely with u by my side+

wauh today second day of mc...
i'm almost recovered...
thanks to those who showed their concern...
no worries ya i'm getting better...
but i feel like a useless person at home...
papa today dun let me do anything...
i wan make the bed after i wake up...
he say leave it he will do it...
i wan cook my own breakfast...
he called me go out of the kitchen he'll cook...
haiz...
when i wan take bowl to take my food...
he say he do...
when i wan wash my own bowl...
he say put it there he will wash it...
n when i'm sitting there reading mag...
he started to ask me about my sickness and if he still needs to buy herbal tea for me...
can see that he cares...
but i feel like i'm a useless piece of junk...
like cannot do anything...
i'm still moving and can think lo...
haiz...
and suddenly i miss doing reports...
after two days or rather to be exact...
i missed doing reports at work...
missed the air of freedom outside...
n missed myself being healthy and energetic...
haiz...
i missed everything...
n papa went out...
now alone at home...
his only thing that i need to do is remember to eat later...
haiz...
really feel useless...
n wanted to help dar do his project...
was rejected??
k i understand...
it's not my project n he wants me to rest...
but i feel so bored n useless at home...
seriously...
i can't quieten down n do nothing...
i'm the sort of person where i must do something!!!!
so bored..!!
BORED!!!!
everybody is at work...
n me?
k maybe i'm just lousy to fall sick...
haiz...
maybe i shouldn't have told papa that i've got two days mc...
den i go work today...
coz other than blocked ears and blocked nose...
occasionally sneezing away...
i feel fine...
staying at home makes me feel so lethergic...
which that isn't the real me...
i'm not happy...
coz i can't do anything...
haiz...
haiz...
haiz!!!!!

ok. i'm on mc today.
and for tml as well...
coz the doctor gave me...
thanks to my sickness...
i feel like i'm pushing all my responsibility at work away just using sickness as an excuse...
feel so bad...
anyway...
was sick for the whole week...
felt so weak but managed to tolerate till end of work...
but everyday reached hme enough for me to die...
sobs...
den tuesday got back my results...
received the message on the mrt...
happie until i shouted out lo...
coz it was good...
k maybe not that good...
but i'm satisfied with it even though i made lots of careless mistakes during exam...
but...
heex...
the best results in my poly life...
k must work harder next sem for better results...
heex...
anyway glad about it..
heex...

today
i'm on mc...
went to see the doctor...
n was sent for blood test...
ouch!!!
was screaming away when the needle poked in...
ok...
fyi...
since young i'm extremely scared of needles...
n the nurses were saying that went i was sent in to the lab for the test...
my face totally went white...
that's how scared i m...
but luckily this time i didn't faint and cry ok...
only screamed...
heex...
den jie came over to fetch me home...
heex..
den home sweet home...
papa was like...
"aiyo how come blood test? alot of blood not? pain?"
hahas..
so sweet inside...
papa cares!!!
lols...
so i feel much much better now...
heex...
just now came home was chatting with dar on the phone...
ok...
glad that his project things are settled...
heex...
didn't talk much...
quite sad though...
but shan't talk about it anymore...
everything is over!
lols...

i'm officially announced sick today...
n can't take mc...
coz my department alot on mc and leave...
so can't take...
felt so terrible lo...
sobs...
actually oso will feel bad if i take mc lo...
coz it's like today monday den alot of reports to do...
cannot say sick den push all the responsibility away...
almost faint in the morning...
feeling soooo terrible now...
heex...
dar came to fetch me home again...
heex...
but i look so sick n ugly lo...
so paiseh...
haiz...
hopefully tml i will feel better ba...
coz still got reports to do...
hopefully tml wun make any more mistakes...
today made a mistake that need delete all records and redo everything lo...
so scared kana scolding...
luckily never...
heex...

Thursday
met up with yunting,gilian, kel, rizwan, ali, cw n zw after work...
met rizwan and zw first at mc cafe at shaw...
then cw came...
woots...
at least im not late...
heex...
den gilian came...
n we waited for yt, kel and ali...
den went wisma ate dinner...
had a good chat n a good laugh...
miss the times we were in school..
n the past...
where our class is so united to meet up...
n now...
only the few...
haiz...
anyway left after dinner...
coz it's late le...
while the rest go buy ali's present...
lols...
reached home at 10...
luckily papa didn't scold me at all...
heex...
i'm lucky!!
heex...

friday
work n work again...
but the fun thing is...
changing dept...
so had to shift space...
need to help shift files n everything...
wuah...
tired...
but fun...
had a good laugh with my collegues...
coz while moving alot of funny stuff that happened...
heex...
den dar came to fetch me after work for dinner...
heex...
feel sooo xin fu...
went amk hub for dinner...
settled for western food at the 24 hour hawker centre...
lols...
nice nice...
dar was very tired...
so didn't talk much...
den after walking awhile...
went home...
can't bear to take the bus to leave dar...
it's like time passes very fast when we're together...
haiz...
reached home late...
n jie was later...
n papa didn't scold again??
papa is like suddenly give us freedom le...
heex...
good n bad thing...
coz i'm not used to it ba...
lols...
slept like early...
at 11+ gonna 12...
heex...

saturday-today
slept till 10+ woke up...
coz of the nightmare of cats n xian xian...
haiz...
den woke up...
n prepared to leave house to meet dar...
lols...
after eating breakfast cum lunch at his house...
n left to dhoby ghaut...
watch movie..
the sassy girl...
it's not nice lo...
repeat of the korean one...
diaoz la...
dunno who come tell me nice huh?
haiz...
nvm...
had great time with dar out...
managed to find my favourite cookies...
can't find the cookies since sec sch lo...
heex...
managed to find it so happy!!
heex...
den off back to dar's house...
had dinner there...
a little only...
coz need to come home to eat...
den dar slept on my leg...
while his mum...
den off home...
ate dinner...
n papa called home...
n same thing...
he didn't scold...
heex...

+thru this time i realised that happiness can be so simple+

wuah...
today can't wake up for work lo...
but luckily tru my determination i made it...
lols...
den rushed to work n i was still late...
but considered early coz my whole dept everyday late one...
hiah hiah...
den today did alot of reports till i lose count le...
n luckily my supervisor requested that i type out my log details...
if not the book now not even for me to write anymore...
everyday so many things to write...
lols...
but got good n not good la...
good is got alot of things to learnt...
bad is so many until i can't really remember most of them...
lols...
today went over to my next week's new seat...
my dept is gonna change...
from consumer banking group business analytics to...
Consumer Deposits & Secured Lending-Business Analytics and Strategic Planning...
super long rite...
sounds so pro somemore...
lols...
but got more things to add on to my workload...
haiz... HAIZ!!!!!
busy busy busy...
den today before work end i ready finished all my work today...
den happily pack up to leave on time...
n that woman...
again...
last minute wan me do report again!!
like...
it's like i dun like u le lo...
den u oso not my direct supervisor...
den always give me your work...
den...
haiz...
so many things to complain abt her...
can only say something...
i dun like her...
haiz...
dun like her everything...
way she talks, talks with actions n stuff...
i little irritating at times...
haiz...
dunno la...
but make until i missed the bus home...
den waited for 30min for next bus...
n luckily the bus i missed is not the last bus lo...
luckily afterwards got one last bus n i managed to catch it...
if not i $#%^&#%@#...
but overall i still love my job...
it's a really very very good exposure...
n a good lesson to tell me tat i dun wan to go in banking sector anymore...
swords flying around in office...
haiz...
so scary...

den today lunch eat at HAN'S...
dun like the food there...
but no choice...
whole dept decided to go there...
eat oso exp!
den tml still going to eat dinner with class...
haiz...
money money...
i need money...
n when is my pay gonna come in??

today dar didn't come to fetch me...
was quite sad...
but haiz...
luckily tru the journey can chit chat with jie...
if not bored to death...
den come home whole body aching...
coz everyday sit still there dun move...
shoulders and neck aching until...!!!
den jie massage me...
heex...
now feel so good!
heex..
thanks jie!

Yesterday-Monday
it's my turn to have headache for work after shihui...
i woke up with terrible headaches...
but coz it's monday...
so got double the reports to generate...
so no choice tahan all the way to office...
den rush out the reports...
den rmbed it's may's birthday...
Happy Birthday May!!

at noon time felt fine le...
went for lunch with colleages at lao par sar and met grace n nazreen there...
but still felt a little giddy so rushed to buy my food n sat down...
so didn't chat much...
den went back...
papa bought penut buns for me for work...
den when i bite down is like omg coconut buns!!
they labelled it wrongly...
den is like my allergy came up...
omg...
den a little of rash...
but the prob is when i in air con room...
my rash wun come out...
so started having fever...
giddyness...
lips a little swollen...
n hurting all over...
omg...
managed to tahan till end of work faster rush home...
den rested on the sofa while waiting for family to come back...
jie came back with her shopping "GOODS"...
lols...
k la...
the stuff she buy all quite nice...
i like!!
heex...
next time can kapok from her...
den i slept till 10 when jie woke me up say something happen n papa have to handle...
so we have to settle dinner ourselves...
n i did a very bad mistake...
jie was very angry with me...
yet she still went downstairs to buy food for me...
even though it was raining heavily...
after food bathed le den slept...

Today-Tuesday
i freakingly can't wake up...
had to stop the pathetic alarm so many times...
den really felt like so weird today...
outside looks weird though...
the daybreak oso very weird...
den after preparing n make up again...
really sick of making up everyday la...
den rushed out thinking i was late...
yet i reached office damn early...
like 15min early la...
plus my dept everybody definite late people...
so slacked till my dept people turned up...
haiz...
everyday read newspaper...
anybody wan test me on news??
i have got all of them in my head...
be it politics, financial, crime n stuff...
locally or overseas...
u name it i know it...
hahas...
den lunch with a former dept staff...
she told abt the scandals n stuff...
can't imagine that even in singapore...
women sleep with guys for jobs n stuff...
disgrace to singapore women man!!
den finally ended work liaoz...
today dar came to fetch me...
n last minute...
kathryn got some work for me...
haiz...
taoyan lo...
but luckily her last sentence was...
not urgent take your time pass me by end of this week...
heex...
so happy...
that means i can go on time...
den met dar...
went over to ps...
he treated me my favourite pasta mania...
heex...
den went to watch movie...
we watched the 'silent' movie...
wall.E!!
damn nice la...
feel so warm in the heart after watching...
finally see a bit of pure love in this extremely practical world...
so heart warming...
n watching with dar brought back many memories...
like 1 year ago...
how he come after me...
actions everything so dumb...
but afterall...
guy's dumbness in coming after girls is wat attracts us ultimately isn't it??
lols...
den home sweet home afterwards...
lols...
had a good time out today...
+sorry kel n aishah that i didn't meet you guys...
+hope you all have had fun ya...

+thanks dar for accompanying me today, i know u're tired...
+love you daR!!

wuah...
yesterday went sebby's birthday party at changi...
fun fun day...
morning went to dar's house to wakie him...
had a great talk with his mum...
nice to have understanding parents...
not like mine...
just that mine is family...
haiz...
n i found this photo taken long long time ago...
now then upload...
see the cute girl girl...
so vain sia...
even know how to pose...
hahas...

had a hard time waking dar up...
den we went for lunch at hougang point n back to his house to wrap the present for sebby...
shared present with dar n his sec school friends...
den off to meet kel while dar went off to meet his friends...
all of us relied on kel's info to take 29 over...
hahas...
den meet kel at her bus stop...
luckily i've got bus concession..
heex heex..
den we went to tampines for kel to shop at this fashion...
lols...
but too bad...
the clothes that she liked no more le...
haiz...
den we went off to the chalet...
reach there like quite early...
n miraculously we didn't lose our way...
haha...
n while walking over...
kel was scared by this lizard like thingy that jumped out from the fence...
den she stop...
i didn't see it...
den i was like wat happened..?
den she showed me n i screamed n run...
lols...
luckily quite deserted there...
hehe...
so not so paiseh...
lols...
den halfway got this big leaf on the floor in front of us...
kel was like stopped n asked...
wat's tat??
she tot is some lizard again...
muah hahahah...
den laughed all the way to the chalet...
we went there to feed mosquitoes...
omg...
once kel got bitten...
we sprayed insect repellent from seb's sister...
thanks loads...
but afterall i still got bitten...
but luckily only one...
den dar and his friends came...
n following behind was andy, kim, cw and yunting...
n us plus zhiwei went to the beach...

us watching the sunset...


us talking n look at cw's copyright smile...lols...

me... heex...the place is so nice...
how i wish that can stay there forever...
so peaceful...
as though the wind will blow all our worries away...

the place...
so nice n romantic rite??
lols...


at the place so many couples were taking their wedding photos lo...
lols...
is got a chance i oso wan go there take...
hahas...
but is there really a chance??

the eel that the people there fished...
actually all of us thought it was a snake...
hahas...

the garbage bag that the people fished...
lols... quite pathetic to wait so long for a garbage bag...

now enjoy the sunset...
but it doesn't look so nice as the true scenary...

there are so many things i have to settle...
is it problems will never come to an end...
one thing settles and another one is up...
does life just sucks so much??
is it that my death will then change the perception of you all towards me.?
i can't even believe that my own family members does not trust me??
no matter wat i do it's still the same...
to you all i'm only a pathetic liar??
it's like i didn't even bother about you all in my life before...
why must you interfere like now?
when i've so many things on mind now?
since young other than problems wat else do you all gave me?
money?
wat others?
love?
happiness?
i dun even see any of these...
n you all call yourselves my so called family n give me problems when i'm so stressed up??
can't you all be understanding?
i'm terribly deprived of energy...
feel like just ending all these pathetic crap...
i feel like running away...
away from all these nonsense...
away to a place where nobody knows me...
n i can have all the silence and peace myself...

wuah.
today did alot of reports...
few hundred tabs of excel reports...
can you imagine you doing all that...
almost everyday ot...
haiz...
tired!!
almost 200+ reports??
omg...
going crazy le...
haiz...
now having slight fever??
terrible terrible terrible...
den tml need go settle stuff before going down for seb's birthday party...
hopes everything turns fine tml...
haiz...

wuah...
i've just reached home from work...
so sick n tired of looking at figures!!!
omg...
everyday dunno how many figures need to look at lo...
everyday learn new type of report...
so sianz...
yesterday...
look at annual reports for almost all the banks in singapore comparing...
isn't this like wat fsrc does??
haiz...
anyway...
read n read n read...
extract n extract figures...
sianz!!!
den today...
do until i go crazy...
especially the last one before work ended...
everyday ot for a few minutes more lo...
but overall my colleagues are nice...
just that the new nyp intern really dunno wat to say...
from IT school one still nvm...
den she still teach her dun take down notes...
den expect us to spoon feed her with answers when she's doing...
pls la...
i'm going to be located far far away soon...
btw...
changing department next week...
follow my supervisor...
that means i'm gonna have more work to do...
fainted...
but i'm happy with my work...
n my colleagues are really nice...
just that i have to keep bugging them for mroe work to do...
coz i do stuff damn fast..
until they cannot tahan n everytime i stand up...
they'll say not again...
but really the report they give still considered easy...
only for some...
lolx...
but i like my job...
i'm learning more things everyday...
heex...
but very tired la...
everyday after work so sleepy...
sometimes even fell asleep at work...
but luckily nobody noticed...
heex!

can't wait for the weekends!!
can go out...
plus it'll be another week down for ipp...
lol..
though enjoying work...
but it's tiring...
but thanks dar for fetching me after work daily!

i'm freakingly tired...
not that i dun have time to rest...
just that everything is draining my energy level...
work=95% of energy gone...
go home try to put on a face that i'm happy=10% of my energy level...
n i can't imagine...
even with u i have to use energy...
i tot that i can relax a little...
but i can't...
i have to try...
try my best to...
i'm tired...
really tired...
past is past...
but keep raking past...
makes both parties unhappy...
i'm trying...
really hard...
stop pushing me...
i'm really at my wits end already...
feel like putting an end to everything...
work, family, friends, life...
i cannot take it anymore...
i'm not as energetic n happy as i may seem to everyone...
actually no one knows me...
even i oso don't know myself...
people can range out everything i like...
but does anyone even know my true character?
does anyone knows wat i'm thinking inside...
does anyone knows wat i'm facing...
does anyone understand my situation...
i'm really tired...
when will all these unhappiness end??
when will all these overload end??

Today
on my way to work...
sebastian gave me such a big scare at the mrt station...
he suddenly stand so near me...
n when i turned around it's like got shock...
why somebody stand so close to me...
den didn't really pay much attention till i realised...
how come this guy look to familiar...
on second look...
k it's seb...
idiot...
lols...
reached office...
n i started with my daily reports to weekly to monthly...
do until like 12plus...
den went for lunch with my colleagues...
went with them to chinatown for lunch...
dim sum lunch...
was at a very traditional restaurant...
with those push carts n chops...
lols...
but the food is nice...
real nice...
lols...
but the bad thing is that it's at some hdb estate...
lols...
den afterwards...
rush back to work...
the new intern from nyp IT sch was there...
lols...
we left her n went for lunch...
coz she meeting her fren...
n we took 2hours to get back...
lols...
at least she can help me with my work...
got a tinch lesser for me to do...
lols...
den got new reports for me to do when i came back...
was doing on one pathetic one which i took so long to do...
n till end work oso haven't done...
luckily not urgent...
lols...
den before end of work...
had celebration for carrie's birthday...
lols...
was aiming the cake as usual...
haha...

the cake was really nice...
yum yum...
den rush off to meet dar...
he came over to fetch me home after work...

den home sweet home...
xian xian was at home waiting for me aalready...
hahas...
my cutie pie!!



yup...
den had dinner...
hugged her...
n felt really unwell...
having terrible tummy aches...
those kind like many needles piercing through my tummy...
pain till...
n kept wanting to vomit...
while jie went to bring xian home....
vomited non stop...
haiz...
dunno wat's the prob....
den drank lots of warm water...
plus kept on sitting up straight...
the pain eased off...
phew...
the feeling was really terrible lo...

this photo taken on saturday...
taken my aishah!!
rmb our pink dolphin??
lols...


i'm so tired of work...
reports piling up are enough to kill me...
i dun have such big brains to store so much data...
haiz...
tired...
please no more additional workload!!
though i know it's impossible...

photos uploading session!!
lols...
second day before work...
see my tired face...
so only a forced smile...
tired tired...

my desk at office...
only half of it...
but it totally became my desk now...
with my mug, handphone holder, calendar n stuff...
lols...
oh ya... n marshmallows... haha...


another forced smile...


yesterday
went out with aishah and kel kel to eat our fav -- ZAMZAM!!
lols...
and they were late again...
coz aishah had to sent overseas letter for her boss...
so went to post office...
thus that explains why she was late...
lols...
after eating went walking around...
den got this breast cancer donation...
so we donated...
n got the pink dolphin in the balloon...
lols...
super cute lehz...
lols...
shall upload the pic of it the next time...
lols...
den off to meet dar at city hall after exchanging hugs with them...
will miss them alot till we meet the next week...
sobs...
den met dar at city hall n off we went to watch the movie 4bia...
scare the hell out of me...
i cried in the movie lo...
coz over afraid...
came out with me still shivering...
haiz...
den he brought me to fishwharf dunno wat...
can't rmb...
opposite central de...
den the fish is super nice n quite cheap...
lols...
den off back home...
heex...
reached home like 11.59pm...
lols...
tired tired...

today
went out to meet baobei...
poor her...
i know that she is undergoing a down stage now...
but luckily now she's looking on the bright side le...
chatted alot...
really alot...
so many things to catch up...
like not much time...
haiz...
baobei...
jia you k...
lols...
i'll be here when u need a listening ear...
let me know when u need me k...
and this song is specially dedicated to baobei...

enjoy!!

den off back home...
coz was feeling rather uncomfortable...
so rush home first...
den went off to meet jie and da yi downstairs...
da yi drove us to er yi's house...
for dinner...
after dinner ate stuff...
plus mooncakes...
super sweet sia...
haiz...
my ulcer gone case le...
coz was like all curry...
lols...
den home sweet home...
n now den i realised my phone had dar's msg...
sorry dar...
was busy preparing tml's working stuff...
so didn't see your msg...
now too late le dun dare give u a call...
sorry...